"To dye or not to dye?" ... that is the question. At least that
was the question I began asking myself a decade ago as I grew weary of
dyeing my grey-streaked hair. Back then, upon presenting my dilemma to
my hairdresser I chose to follow his self-serving advice, "You'll have
plenty of time to go grey!"
Giving up the quest for a glamorous,
youthful look was especially difficult for me as I had been the fashion
queen; owning fashion boutiques, doing image consulting and writing a
fashion column for ten years. I had felt pity for my sister-in-law years
ago, when she decided not to dye her hair. At that time I vowed to
never "let myself go," and remain as youthful and glamorous as human
powers would permit.
Yet, rather suddenly, more years of dying my
hair passed and I found myself resenting being held hostage every six
weeks to grey roots, chemicals soaking my scalp, dark stains along my
hairline, and fumes in my eyes and lungs. More and more I begrudged the
societal message clouting us: "Women lose their value, beauty and worth
as they age and must do their utmost to hide the fact."
Proof of
this message drives the multi-billion dollar beauty/anti-aging industry
which goads us into defying nature and negating the beauty, vitality,
sexuality and worth of aging, grey-haired women.
Now it is
commonplace to perpetually dye greying hair; surgically nip, tuck and
lift aging faces; Botox worrisome wrinkles away; lyposuction fat off
thighs; enlarge small breasts; pluck "inappropriate" hairs (then draw
eyebrows back on!); wear make-up with toxic ingredients; and keep
wearing current clothing that was in style when we were teens.
Unwittingly,
we have been drawn into an anti-aging war being battled upon our
bodies. Each of us has to draw the line between wanting to look good and
becoming a slave to twisted societal demands. Where do we say "Enough
is enough?"
Letting our grey grow is the "road less traveled." The
idea that we must be beautiful, youthful and lithesome to be acceptable
and of worth is deeply ingrained within each of us. It can be an
unnerving, shocking journey dumping our societies' shallow values, and
coming to accept our bodies as they are: grey hair, no hair, overweight,
wrinkles and all.
Three years ago, when I decided to stop dying
my hair, with the support of my husband and young boy, I faced deep
fears. Being mid-forties and grey-haired would I lose my man to a
younger, prettier woman? Would they see me "on the way out" in my
professional career? And what was I to do on those days the mirror
reflected an old, unsexy, grey-haired woman?
It's interesting - I
had to dig to the depths of my roots - in order to grow-out my roots. To
grow grey I had to find the courage of my convictions and move against
the mass belief. I had to go beyond my fears to find my own beauty and
worth inside. Now, having experienced grey hair for three years, I can
say it is incredibly freeing and comfortable to be who I am, just as I
am.
To rise above societal beliefs and find our own intrinsic
worth, beauty, vitality and sexuality let us begin with accepting, and
caring for our bodies and our precious selves. Given the toxicity of
many beauty products and treatments perhaps the question of - "To dye or
not to dye" - should read... "To die or not to die," that is the
question.
